Thursday, July 28, 2011

My Ex-Wife Cut Me Off From Talking To My Daughter On The Phone

Can't talk to my daughter. It's a crime.
The last year and a half have been especially hard on my daughter and me. I got sick in late 2009 and had to be shipped from Las Vegas to Cleveland to be near my sister, so she could take care of me. Being a divorced father was hard enough, but then winding up 2,300 miles from my dream girl, who is going into fifth grade soon, has been really hard. Phone calls and Skype chats have kept our bond strong. Then, out of the blue, my ex-wife cut me off from talking to my daughter on the phone and told me to write letters to her.

This story has some history and I'm going to fly through it because I only have 18 minutes left on my time at the library computer (New computer coming next week. Yeah!)

My daughter has always been a bit rambunctious. She's curious, extremely bright, sensitive, has perfect pitch and loves animals. My moving away had affected her. But through calls and Skype, we've managed to do the best we can. I never call her, I leave it up to her. Never more than a few days goes by when she's calling, "Oh Daddy, I just had to talk to you, I haven't talked to you in so long."

When we get a chance to Skype, my sister sets it all up and my daughter is bouncing on her chair by the time I get to the web cam. She's literally ready to pee her pants, she's so excited.

All of our chats have the same format. She tells me about everything that is going on, while she's fiddling with some online computer game in the background. Or, sometimes she plays her keyboard or reads to me. But the computer games are the most popular activity.

When we were together, we spent a lot of time on the computer. I made her a little website full of cool games, she had a blog, we made movies and put them on YouTube. It was a blast.

Since my daughter started school, however, she's had isolated incidents where she got out of control in class or had dramatic emotional outbursts. I credit this behavior to the divorce. Whether it is spoken or unspoken, every child of divorce wants their parents back together. I didn't want a divorce. My ex did. So she left.

My ex is a very rude and disrespectful person. She doesn't return phone calls, blows off emails, never informs me when they go out of town - which is quite frequently. She makes all the decisions regarding my daughter and never tells me about any of it, until after the fact, via an email.

My daughter has seen a school counselor for two years because of her periodic outbursts. Suddenly, she asked her mom, "Can I see a counselor?" My ex set up a meeting with a family counselor. She had a meeting or two with the counselor, then my daughter went in. I'm not sure how many meetings there were, because I'm only the father and that's none of my goddamn busniess, I guess.

What came out of the meetings were that there were a few things that upset my daughter about me leaving, which I can't change. And there were a couple things that I said on the phone that bothered her when I first got here. I haven't spoken about then since.

Two recent incidents I told her about - my truck being vandalized with paint and my computer dying. She was very concerned.

Well, my genious ex-wife and this nimrod counselor decided that conversation with Dad was too upsetting and that we shouldn't talk on the phone anymore. We should write letters. WHAT?

I know my ex doesn't know dick about math and if I didn't work with my daughter on the phone on fractions, she would have flunked it. My daughter was so grateful for me helping her.

Do you see upsetting patterns here? A girl that is so exicted to talk to me on the phone, nearly pees herself when we Skype and can't tell me enough how much she loves me, and this is wrong?

So, now my ex-bitch has demonized phone calls with Daddy. If and when we ever talk again, she'll be nervous to talk, so that she doesn't upset mommy.

Time's up here.... tell me what you think.

My ex-wife cut me off from talking to my daughter on the phone.


Anonymous said...

Not sure what your finances and stuff are like but I would be getting a lawyer and demanding those calls back. As long as you aren't being abusive, bad mouthing her mother, or doing anything to emotionally harm her the WORST thing for her is to cut contact like that. Though letters are wonderful and can be read over and over again for years to come nothing replaces the sound of daddy saying "I love you" or telling him everything that is going on. I am sure she said a lot more to the counselor then she is telling you and it is most likely what she said that had the counselor suggest this (if the counselor even did, I find it hard to believe). Your ex is a witch and is alienating you from your daughter, that is disastrous to both you and her. Even though my parents ended up getting back together I have NEVER forgave my mother for how she treated my dad and how she limited our contact. Once contact was limited, though she wouldn't say it directly to me, she bad mouthed my father to others constantly. She would supervise everything I wrote and said to him when we did manage to talk and made she I was never able to repeat what she was saying about him to him. She tried with all her might to make me see how "horrible" my father was and if it wasn't for me remembering all the good times clearly and always having a stronger bound with him than her I most likely would have ended up like my sister who eventually "seen the light" and seen how "horrible" my dad was to us and her. Try to reinstate that contact ASAP or be prepared for your ex to corrupt your daughters mind with evil thoughts like "he doesn't want to talk to you anyway, if he did he would have called you and would have fought to be able to talk to you and not given up".

Roger Blazic said...

I'm broke and have no means to go after her, legally. I'm trying to get her to explain how she came about all of this and why the unreasonable conclusion was to cut me out of the conversation.

Today, I went to leave a note on my daughter's Facebook page, and I was no longer on her Friend's list. That is very suspicious.

My ex-started this a long time ago. She made me the "identified patient" - which means that everything that was wrong in the world was my fault. She's perfect and incapable of error.

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, and ADD/ADHD - which makes me smarter than 95% of the people I meet.

Now, my ex is trying to make a deal out of that - what meds am I on, who are my doctors, what hospital was I in? She just wants to make a case that I'm unfit. It's bullshit. Read my blogs. Do I write like a deranged idiot?

She's very immature and controling. Can't say any more than that.

Queen of Dirt said...

So sorry to hear of this. Is there any way you can talk to the counselor and find out the things that are bothering your daughter? You are the parent and should be informed of any troubles as well. Hang in there with the disorders, they are a bitch but manageable. Keep your head up :0)

Roger Blazic said...

I tried to talk to the counselor. My X had sent her one of my emails and this blog post to the counselor. When I called her, she said, "You need to call you X and tell her to find another counselor, one that you can agree on."

End of counselor.

Then, on Saturday, I get an email from my X that says I have to go through her attorney for all future communications. And I can only communicate with my daughter by mail.

She's nuts.

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